I want to help people. I need to do it. I feel a connection with others, even though it may not be perfect nor ideal nor chosen. It might be in the context of a chosen relationship or a forced one. It doesn't change how I feel: I want to help people.
I haven't been certain on how to help people. I'm still not certain. I've thrown technology at the problem, a lot. I've thrown parts of myself at the problem. I've seen it as a problem, something I can solve, something I must solve because it will improve everything.
I get frustrated when I can not help. I read about injustices, and get angry, and think about them. It does not feel like enough. I am trying to get more involved. I am trying to be more me, more present, more aware, more willing to be in that unbalanced grey area. I'm trying to be selfless and selfish.
I have skills. I want to use them. When I'm making something - an interface, a sign, a piece of text, a podcast, a video, a song - it's in the service of connection, of inspiration, of community, of help. Helping other people as much as I'm helping myself.
Right now for who I am and where I am, design is the way I articulate helping people. This is what I can do. This is how I can make things better.
(Thank you to Amy Silvers and Whitney Hess for inspiring this piece.)