It starts out very quietly. "I'll talk to her tomorrow", you may think to yourself, "instead of today. I'm not up to it." And maybe you aren't. Maybe your energy is low; maybe your capacity for compassion needs to be refilled.
Then tomorrow rolls around and you think about that lack of contact. "That's not going to happen today. Something got in the way." Maybe the dog needed a bath, or there was an important phone call that needed to happen. You bumped it down the to do list.
Soon, it's a week and you haven't spoken with that other person. That "Call her" task is a big fat number on your GTD list. The disconnection has taken root. You start wondering what's going on with them. Have you done something wrong? Are they okay? Wow, I hope they're not sick. Maybe they're "just busy". Are they still... there?
And then it snowballs into a month. Now it's been forever since you've talked, and the anxiety builds. It festers and lingers. And now what could you possibly say? How could you take everything that's been swirling around in your life for the past month and encapsulate it into a neat, 10 minute conversation? More importantly, how can you articulate these feelings and emotions to this other person?
How long does it need to continue before you reconnect? Does it need to continue at all? And more importantly, how long will it be until you realize that your inactions are just as impactful as actions?
It is actually a big deal
I've been in places where anxiety has absolutely gotten the best of me, and it can be all-encompassing. I've gotten so wrapped up in worrying about what might happen that I just don't do anything, instead. But that's a choice, as it ever was, and ultimately what does it serve me?
I learned through self-observation and self-reflection that I was giving anxiety a big, big part of my days. Just turning it all over to anxiety, and I'd push it way down. But that isn't sustainable. Worse, it can be painful.
Pull in your logical parts, and call on them to examine the facts. Watch what you're doing, in the spirit of empathy and understanding. Then, reconnect.
Reconnect with yourself. Reconnect with others.